Sometimes His Mom Lets Him Train

OMG “Guided Chaos” guys look:

The script would read “Opening scene, we see the shooter on an indoor range which looks a lot like John Wayne Gacy’s basement”.

0:26 – Balance training always comes in handy.  Personally I train on log roll though…. having it spin you around and dunk you is some bullshit, be prepared.

0:39 – Awwwwwww shit the old “No-Look/Switch Hand /Moving/Point Shoot” such a classic.  You can tell him and his buddies made this shit up just to be like “HELL YEA WE OPERATE HARD BRO!”

1:00 – PURE CHAOS guys… pure uncut chaos.  MY MIND WAS LIKE *KABOOM*

1:09 – I wonder what being a “Guided Chaos Jostler” pays?  Do they have another opening?  Is there an application / interview?  “Where have you jostled in the past?”  “Are you comfortable jostling in all types of environments, disruptive ones even?”  “Ever run into any issues in a jostle? If so how did you solve them?”  “Where or who do you see yourself jostling in 10 years?”

1:29 – He trains like he’s on the school yard, and those five dummies are bullies who want to give him an atomic wedgie.

Guided-Chaos-Adaptive-Defense1:44 – He’s in full flashback mode here.  His mom warned him about this type of training brining up old thoughts of the past.  Hear his primal UHHHhhgggggggg uHhhHHGGGGGGAaAAHHhhhhhh.

Get some more Guided Chaos over at their website Attack Proof, and find out where you can train with them.  I know your mom and his mom will be besties.  After your 2nd training session they’ll even collaborate and your mom might make cookies and his might make little triangle cut sandwiches with the crust removed.

Thoughts?  I bet he’s asked his mom so many times if he could get the Guided Chaos logo tattooed on his lower back.  She keeps saying no.

Hat tip: Caleb


18 responses to “Sometimes His Mom Lets Him Train”

  1. JBiddles Avatar


    1. Squirreltactical Avatar

      I’ll second that.

  2. HouHef45 Avatar

    Is that a 135mm barrel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    Why slide to the ground during an attack? Staying off the ground is the number one objective in any violent situation. Takedown defense is a huge part of any training MMA/wrestling/jiu jitsu/judo regimen and then this dude is just giving it up. Don’t pull guard in a multiple attacker situation, even if it is Glock Guard.

  3. 05RC51 Avatar

    Somebody owes me a monitor, this one is covered in coffee now.

  4. WTFover Avatar

    I lost it when he unleashed his primal scream.

    1. TheBear Avatar

      No, that was a ki blast.

  5. Morgan Avatar

    War is full of jostles.

  6. Guided Chaos: ITS A OXYMORON, GET IT?

  7. This is some funny stuff here. :)
    Here’s the article that goes with the video:

  8. jim bob Avatar
    jim bob

    Jostle me bro! do you even lift?

  9. Who pocket carries a long slide Glock?

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      LOL amazing… so true

  10. John Fritz Avatar
    John Fritz

    Z-Man will be along shortly to straighten all this out.

  11. beardly Avatar

    U wot mate? I wreck ja cunt, I swear on me mum! or rather, what the fuck did I just watch.

  12. Jondoeftw Avatar

    All i picture is Kevin from Home Alone yanking the strings moving the blow up doll in the, “moving body” drill.

  13. That flailing “temper tantrum style” kick to the calf at 1:55 must have killed that guys soul for him to drop like that.

  14. dgdimick Avatar

    I find going to the range and asking random people to beat on me with Wiffle Ball Bats much more effective.

    The marks fad after a few days.