Chris Costa And The Case Of The Awkward Satchel

Chris “Shark Jump” Costa is back at it with a ridiculous pod shaped backpack…*ahem* sorry “satchel”:


I could barely catch my breath between LOLs when I first saw this thing.  Did April fools day get moved this year?  Astro Boy’s androgynous cousin Robin called, he want’s a piece of the profit for inspiring the design.

The Hive Satchel is $195 over at Blue Force Gear.  It’s funny how they say it’s so “discrete”… like yea sure it won’t look like anything with a gun in it to the untrained eye, but it will definitely draw attention and speculation because everyone that looks at it will be like “wow, that’s a fucking stupid looking backpack, what does he carry in there? Probably the life helmet he should be wearing so he doesn’t hurt himself on the world.” hopefully just to themselves, but if they say it out loud you can reply “IT’S A SATCHEL DAMNIT, and CHRIS COSTA designed it… DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO CHRIS COSTA IS?!  If not, KILL YOURSELF.”

homer-jump-sharkWho makes up the target market for this? Will it fit a rifle, tactical arm tape, zombie derp dvds, and Haley’s skin care products inside?  In an active shooter scenario I’d think this would be more of a liability than an asset because if the shooter is at all humane, he’d put the guy with the most retarded looking backpack out of his misery to start things off.

I think I may have given Costa way too much credit when he was with Magpul.  The guy is letting me down bigtime now.

Thoughts?   Does this next-level satchel meet your tier 1 requirements as an operator who operates in discreet urban operations?


54 responses to “Chris Costa And The Case Of The Awkward Satchel”

  1. Looks like a backpack. I don’t care for the side flap, but this looks like a run-of-the-mill courier bag, which I gather is the point. The disdain feels rather forced today.

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      haha “The disdain feels rather forced today.” paste me a couple similar backpack links. If you can come up with any I guess I don’t know backpacks like I thought I did. I’ve never seen anyone with something so dumb looking, outside of people that might have something similar to wear with their spandex cycling suit.

      1. Just google image search “single strap backpack” there are quite a few.

      2. This is commonly referred to as a “sling backpack.” It’s quite common nowadays and comes in a variety of styles (both simplistic and complex, this one being on the simplistic design end of the spectrum).

        1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
          Aaargo Jay

          It’s not the backpack itself we are referring to… It’s the ugliness of the “turtle shell” that is earning our hateristic remarks…

      3. Well if you didn’t know that there are a lot of sling bags out there I’m not gonna pummel you for it, I just thought that BFG bag was a pretty reasonable idea. Then again, I’m a daily sling-pack user, so my view may be skewed.

      4. Looks like pretty much any high volume sling bag. It’s the current style with photographers, so guess I’m used to seeing it:

  2. Whacker-15 Avatar

    I’m glad someone else agrees with me. The BFG reps at shotshow were pushing this hard. I took one look at it in the current color scheme and said thats the ugliest bag I have ever seen. it was refreshing to later have one of the reps agree with me. it’s so ugly no hipster kid would even be rocking this at starbucks! the sad thing is they have a best seller on their hands because it is Costa branded and endorsed……well at least the first production run will sell out.

    1. SittingDown Avatar

      “I’d rather be dead than cool.” -Kurt Cobain

  3. EODClass03180S Avatar

    The Hate is strong with you, my son. Yea, I’m finally glad people are seeing Costa the way I do. I’m not sayin he ain’t t good at what he does….but he lost me at “Coast Guard”. I seem to remember seeing a vid of him teaching civillians to “step over their dead buddy’s body” so they could keep “Slayin Tango’s”…or something. Cool Coast Guard story Bro. And I love that look on his face in this photo too. Like he’s in Kindergarten showin off his new Smurf lunchbox. And on it is Extreme Tacti-Smurf with a text bubble that says, “Do you even operate, bro?”

    Haley, however, I got mad respect for. Hell, I’d probly buy Haley Brand sparkling cider so long as it has his cool butterfly logo. Or maybe some Haley Brand Quiche…with a side of Freedom.

    Oh, and to get back on topic, I bought a Sling pack designed for tennis rackets that fits my Krink and a pistol. It was $40 bucks on Amazon. Suck on that BFG.

    1. liquidflorian Avatar

      With the coast gaurd most of their boarding guys, all they do is CQB. Not sure if that was Costa’s gig or not though…

    2. theblackknight Avatar

      Oh look, a Army Fag that dosent know the mission scope of the Coast Guard.

  4. SittingDown Avatar

    Wear it under a shirt and you’ll be the Hunchback of Notre Dame. LOL

  5. If I ever had to carry a turtle for long distances, I’d buy one.

  6. If Pocahontas was alive today that would be her tactical papoose. First thing that came to my mind anyway. If you can slide on that shit like a ninja turtle I may order one.

    1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
      Aaargo Jay

      LMMFAO… Picturing someone sliding across the floor on this thing!!!

  7. if you paint the backpack like a TMNT shell, it definitely will scream “this guy probably doesn’t hav a gun”

    1. And a TMNT shell be perfect for discrete carry of dual katanas.

      1. Reading through the comments and waiting for that reference…

        “Heroes in a halfshell…Costa Power!”

  8. Aaargo Jay Avatar
    Aaargo Jay

    WOW!! The Costa Hate is thick in here!! Yes the Ninja turtle shell bag is wack, but Costa is still a BADASS. I bet any one of the tools talking shit here on ENDO wold slap their name across that bag if BFG had a check with your name on it. Costa is still one of the best trainers and shooters out there. His Costa Edition Larue Carbine is one of the better rifles out there, but then again, so is Haley’s Jack Rifle by Bravo Company. So you can’t really dick-ride Haley without rubbing Costas’ balls, now can you?

    And BTW EODClass03180S, Haley’s logo is a dragonfly(like that’s any less gay)…

    But as far as that bag goes… I would never have this a a pert of my kit, even if it turned out to be a practical bag that fit all my gear, PDW, ammo, plates, pogie bait, etc… The bag is most certainly, without a doubt, undeniably FUBAR, but it might just be able to hold all of the Costa Hate from the “Obviously tacti-cool Operators” in here. What bags are you guys carrying, douche?

    1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
      Aaargo Jay

      oops…Typo: “part of my kit”

    2. EODClass03180S Avatar

      Oh, snap, you’re right it is a dragonfly. That’s way more badass. Costa’s symbol is a Dolphin-catching net wrapped around a spork. Super-Lame. And yeah, his rifle is awesome but LaRue could make a spork and it would be awesome. It would also be $3,500 and come with free seasoned salt.

      BTW I have it on good authority that Costa was part of special Coast Guard unit that traveled to far-away worlds through what’s known as a “stargate” and battled alien species in the name of ‘Merica and freedom…armed only with a Hi-point and a petrified whale penis. So there’s that.

      1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
        Aaargo Jay

        “Stargate”, “petrified whale penis”…. Too much!!! LMAO

      2. Taylor TX Avatar
        Taylor TX

        Almost as good as that Pat Rogers “And then you suck a Big FUCKING MOOSE COCK”

        1. Whacker-15 Avatar

          thank you for sharing that..I will never look at a moose the same way again!

    3. BBJones Avatar

      Costa Edition anything = speed holes, lightning cuts, and 100% markup.

      1. elephantrider Avatar

        2nd that.

        Costa = Screwball overpriced industry tie-in kit and questionable training drills. The guy does not live in the same reality as you and me.

        Haley = Mostly good advice and some reasonably priced guns and gear that he promotes.

        This bag looks like $80 for the actual bag and $115 for the picture of Costa wearing it. Way to go Costa, reinvent something that other companies have been making for years and mark it up by over 100%.

    4. elephantrider Avatar

      Uhhh Aaargo,

      Take a look at the Costa and Haley carbines side by side. The Larue/Costa edition is overpriced, unless that Costa Lupus logo is worth $800-1,000 to you? The BCM/Haley carbine is cheaper, better, and gives you a discount for a Haley Strategic class.

      I use a Maxpedition bag, they do the same thing, and cost over $100 less. Now I would actually pay $100 more not to have that bearded douche associated with anything I use.

      1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
        Aaargo Jay

        I am talking about quality only, not price. I can’t judge a gun’s performance by the price. Some may be able to spend the $$ and some may not. But that is the same with most things in life. No one should shit on my car because I drive a Benz while they drive a Toyota. Both are great cars when you look at it. But names do cost and I have nothing to do with that. It ain’t tricking if you got it!!

  9. Pop N Fresh Avatar
    Pop N Fresh

    that side pocket is a fanny pack, somebody said hey lets bring fanny packs back and some jerk designer said lets just slide a fanny pack to the left a little………

  10. Whacker-15 Avatar

    I’m just bashing the bag…not the beard.

    1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
      Aaargo Jay

      I’m with you Bro!

  11. I thought the same thing! Who was smoking what when they made this “discrete” bag. I was thinking you better have a good back story on what is in there because everyone you talk to will ask what the bag is designed to carry.

  12. According to the site it’s designed around concealing an MP7. That’s a really narrow market, unless you’re banking on selling to the airsoft crowd. And I doubt they’d need that feature either. Or maybe they’re planning to get it put in the next big video game release and try to sell it to the CoD kiddies. Gonna be harder to sell those things just on Costa’s name when their that ugly and no “top-tier operators” use it or anything that looks like it. Maybe that’s why it’s a “limited edition.” If it was meant to be real gear and not just a Coata collectible why wouldn’t they make it a full production item?

    1. Impractical Shooter Avatar
      Impractical Shooter

      I apologize if this is a bit of a necro, but…

      They are “limited edition”bBecause they are only making so many in any given color before discontinuing that color and making a them in a new color. And once a color is discontinued, it’s gone for good.

      1. Having seen the new color I now realize its limited edition because the plan is to make each color scheme progressively worse and more noticeable because its so ugly.

  13. I will say this: Some of the stuff he’s been coming up with are a little, “NU Metal.” (If you don’t get that reference, think of a kid with a bowl cut, a chain wallet, and exclusively shops at Hot Topic)

    That being said, he would out shoot me any day. I would take it with a grain of salt. He’s lending his name to some wack stuff, but he’s making them ‘ens and he gets to shoot all over the country.

  14. Pretty sure this was unveiled at SHOT too… Took a couple months to build up the hate I guess?

    1. Aaargo Jay Avatar
      Aaargo Jay

      You should have seen how hard they were pushing this at SHOT too… Hard as Hell!!!

  15. Johnny Bravo Avatar
    Johnny Bravo

    I don’t carry any hate for Costa personally, but I remember seeing the bag a while back thinking WTF, is that for real? I’m glad the ENDO blog calls out some of the more absurd tacticool gear and tactics, also the cult of “I was an operator” bro is out of control, grow a beard and wear a baseball cap with some IR tape pinned to it,voila operato, maybe come up with some cool way to hold a rifle and sale it as a tactic. Anyway keep it up ENDO!

  16. I don’t give a shit how badass he is, that bag is fucking wack

  17. OK, to add something substantive:

    Spine + Asymmetry = your body is fucked

  18. Mountain Avatar

    This might be your funnist article yet, with help from Mr.Koolaid-Costa of course.

  19. Stephen Avatar

    There was even some bullshit about limited color runs so that not too many existed in the wild at the same time lest they become too popular to remain super secret.

  20. liquidflorian Avatar

    I don’t blame a guy for trying to monetize his image, but they seriously need to put more consideration into what products they aught to endorse.

  21. paul kimble Avatar
    paul kimble

    which ninja turtle is he?

  22. thatguy Avatar

    Jeezus…no thank you. I love Costa but that thing is not going to sell. My 5.11 MOAB 10 at least has a place for a plate insert or level III Kevlar insert and a semi hidden compartment for a handgun. If i have to shoot it out I can at least roll it around to protect my chest and access my handgun.

  23. waterman Avatar

    lets keep some perspective an try not to forget about these dumb-ass packs.

  24. Rated R Avatar

    Chris is a friend, and I can tell you that he is a good guy. He’s a family man, loves his country, has a desire to help others improve their safety and proficiency with firearms, doesn’t badmouth or get into twitter battles with those that don’t share his beliefs, and digs the movie Anchor Man. He’s an average dude with little ego, and as such I’d encourage you to avoid personal quips. If you don’t dig the pack, that’s no biggie, if you want to debate the merits of holding a rifle in a certain manner, that’s cool too, but rise above the personal insults…

    1. Not gonna lie. Felt a little paranoid reading the comment above…

    2. Aaargo Jay Avatar
      Aaargo Jay

      Right on!!

  25. DANGER CLOSE Avatar

    why yes costa, i do have a personal flotation device in my gay sling bag!

  26. SittingDown Avatar

    Looks like MotoGP suit to me. LOL