Professional Derp Handgunning

The Derp is pretty strong right out of the gate with this one:

This goes to show that a little editing can go a long way…

You might know him better from his Cold Steel Knife videos.  He’s Lynn C. Thompson, the president, and founder of Cold Steel.

Work the bolt!  BANG! Work the bolt! BANG!

“Suppressive probing and ripping fire” ???  If you say so…

This guy should team up with “The LAV“!  There would be so many great one liners…

This video was apparently on Cold Steel’s youtube channel, but it was ripped to shreds in the comments.  Now only a 3 minute preview remains.

Hat tip: Cpl. Perry

Update: The derp is available in a 3 DVD set on Amazon – HERE


53 responses to “Professional Derp Handgunning”

  1. Charles Avatar


  2. Michael B Avatar
    Michael B

    Derp? This is in Herpa Derpa Derpa Derp territory my friend.

  3. this guy makes me want to punch myself…

  4. MKingery Avatar

    having seen his other videos – he COULD just 21 foot rule anything he wants with their broadsword

  5. That one guy Avatar
    That one guy

    I never knew NikonMikon was the president and founder of Cold Steel.
    It explains alot. Alot alot. xD

    And Herpaderp is right. Herp. Herpadee. Herpadoo. Derp.

  6. Justin Avatar

    I love the look of those high speed low drag jean shorts

    1. Justin Avatar

      did he say he shoots through cows? wow this is what happens when you pick on the fat kid. He’s pretty prepared for a firefight… or at least mentally. All the time he devotes to shooting he should devote some time to being physically prepared. A glock with a 32 round mag “isn’t too bulky” yeah if you can tuck it underneath your beer belly.

  7. Cameron Avatar

    I hate Lynn C. Thompson.

    Sure, Cold Steel creates some interesting looking knives and weapons (having never bought one, I can’t comment on quality), but his “warrior lifestyle” approach to things when he looks like he weighs as much as a small moon, how he takes everything far too seriously, and then gets things wrong quite often (“The reliability of the service pistol has gone up tremendously…are very reliable compared to what you could get 30-40 years ago” John Moses Browning wants a word with you) , and his way of speech pisses me off…he stutters all the time, his voice irritates me…

    I just fucking hate him. If he was a little less “Warrior lifestyle” and full of himself, and a little more of a proper knife maker instead of a guy who thinks that people really, REALLY, engage in total combat all the time with SWORDS.

    1. That one guy Avatar
      That one guy

      (“The reliability of the service pistol has gone up tremendously…are very reliable compared to what you could get 30-40 years ago” John Moses Browning wants a word with you)

      And the owner of this blog would like a word with you. Particularly about Glocks and their superiority in reliability to those pistols made 30-40 years ago lol.

      1. Cameron Avatar

        Glocks came out in the 80s, not a lot of difference between them and some other handguns.

        1. That one guy Avatar
          That one guy

          There’s plenty of differences. Glocks are designed to be held sideways and be shot from a car window a-la drive-by style. Older handguns are designed for be used by the cavalry on horseback lol.

          And nothing else comes or was originally built with the idea of using “I am not confident in my masculinity” glock heug magazines.

          Biggest difference? It’s Tacky and square. Whereas everything else is usually roundy and built with being held by human hands in mind. I aint no robot. Give your blocky crap away from me xD

    2. My favorite vids are from the founder of Midway. Cant remember his name off the top of my head. Hes well spoken, professional, and there isnt a drop of Warrior Lifestyle in his videos.

      This dude likes to just shoot the shit out of things. I’ve owned a few ColdSteels and I have to admit they do them selves an injustice designing their catalogs like a cheap chinese knife catalog. Their knives are pretty good for the price. Some are a little over the top and look like some shit you would see at a swap meet. This guy used to play D&D and from what it looks like he exchanged his DM status for “Horny… I mean Hor-na-dee ammo… Its heavy..Heh”

      This guy put the Herp in Herp Derp.

      1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

        Yea I agree, Midway’s Larry Potterfield has class.

        1. Dont forget the guys from Brownells.

    3. Let me translate Cameron’s comment here. “How can a fat guy with a stuttering problem is so successful while I can’t even get my in the front door? I can do better than this fat guy with a stuttering problem.”

      You should stop crying Cameron. I’m very proud that a man like Lynn whose doesn’t have a body like Brad Pitt or The Rock shows a man his size can do this. Lynn put his mind to it and succeed to be successful while Cameron is jealous that he can’t do it at all. Oh that so called “full of himself” is called confidence and Lynn has lots of it. Do you? Bring that haterade somewhere else Cameron.

      1. Hi Lynn!

  8. Mr Maigo Avatar
    Mr Maigo

    “Ripping Fire: Go directly to Jail – do not pass Go, do not collect $200”

  9. Um, did he really just train to shoot the ground up? I just…

    Someone isn’t properly rotating and indexing on the draw.

    Ripping? #1 why would you be chasing someone INTO a building? I’ve been trained to move AWAY from a threat as I engage it, not chase.

    #2, he forgot to show the little baby and kid targets in the house he was ripping, since he obviously cannot be following Rule #4. Know your target and what is beyond it.

    1. Considering the target was “5 feet” away and he shot the ground in between them I will have to declare a gross safety violation. Why would you practice almost shooting your foot off? If someone did that while they were practicing with me, I would head back to the car until they ran out of ammo.

    2. Dillankid Avatar

      Didn’t you hear him say “start shooting just as you clear the holster”? Duh. Everyone knows that. He’s going to end up like the dude that shot himself in the leg – except the other guy just had bad technique/indexing, this fat rocket scientist is almost training to shoot himself on purpose…

      Hopefully for his sake he doesn’t hit an artery when it inevitably happens…

      1. LOL… Cant wait for that video…

        “and then my training kicked in.. I call my mom and then sliced that target in half with my 24in katana… I stopped the bleeding before the target hit the ground.”

  10. nominate thompson for top douchebag… he certainly looks, sounds and acts like one.

  11. Rickenbacker Avatar

    Hey, who DOESN’T need 500 rounds of 9×19 to go hunting in Africa?

  12. “I shot 5,000 rounds….in a row!”. I believe the Mall Ninjas have found their lord and master.

    1. This. So true. Does anyone know if this guy actually has any real training/experience in LE or .Mil scenarios? Or is he just a 10th degree black belt in mallninjutsu who makes things up as he goes along? I know he makes knives, and I’ve heard both good and bad things about them, but a weaponsmith doesn’t always make a good warrior.

      1. Cameron Avatar

        Hit up Cold Steel’s site, Ski, and watch the videos he makes of his knives and swords. Apparently he has loads of experience and training with them. For example, he loves fighting with a katana and wakizashi, and apparently always fights with two knives.

        According to his personal website he’s been taking martial arts most of his life and has training in Boxing, Kali, Thai Boxing, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, “Shoot fighting” (I’m not making this up, it says Shoot Fighting), stick fighting, sabre fencing, and knife fighting, and trains 14 to 16 hours a week (Which apparently he finishes by having a couple Big Macs).

        And from the tone of his videos it always seems like he actually expects people to legitimately fight with swords. Like, he expects people will actually use his swords for combat, and not just expensive wallhangers that can sometimes be used for HD (if you’re fucking insane).

        1. Dillankid Avatar

          Shoot Fighting is an actual sport, kind of helped the UFC get started. Nothing to do with guns though, mostly wrestling/Jiu Jitsu. If you know who Ken Shamrock is, he was a Shoot Figher before he was in the UFC.

          1. Cameron Avatar

            Ah, sorry, shoulda done research before that. But knowing Lynn Thompson and Cold Steel it wouldn’t surprise me if he said shoot fighting for gunfighting.

            1. Dillankid Avatar

              Probably so :-) Also possible his “training” was watching a demo on TV while eating bacon and doritos…

  13. This is fucking embarrassing.

  14. 032125 Avatar

    Lynn has been around the world a few times and has done some pretty cool stuff, but he’s got some kind of Ernest Hemingway complex going on and it makes everyone cringe. He has studied edged weapons for decades, but in his videos he still comes across as a clumsy fat guy.

    It’s as if his ego is so inflated that he sees himself as an action hero, and his employees are either too afraid of him to tell him what an ass he is making of himself, or else they hate him and enjoy giggling at his jiggling. Proof positive that you can study long, and still get it wrong.

  15. Dillankid Avatar

    This whole thing hurts…I need some Excedrin now…

    1. Dillankid Avatar

      But still, I continue to watch…it’s like a train wreck or a bad car crash, it’s horrible but you just can’t help yourself…

  16. Lynn the tactical tugboat. He shops at Big and Tall Tactical

  17. FunnyGunBunny Avatar

    he’s just smarter than us…this is definitely a joke, with all of us as the punch line…there is NO WAY someone actually would act like this IRL…

    Also, I like the Shorts and Tactical vest ensemble… very British/Tunisia/WWII with a healthy dose of Tacticool/Actical… Nicely done..

  18. HKschalldampfer Avatar

    I kept waiting for him to bust into “MY NAME IS MATT FOLEY AND I’M A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER!!!!”

  19. What is all this shit about ‘When I’m in Africa, I carry 3 32 round magazines to back up my Glock. Yeah, ya know, if I think its extra hairy I do that..Derp” What? Africa? The dude looks like hes about to trip over his own damn feet at the range. I dont know how great of a shot he is. Watermelons blowup regardless of where you shoot them with a .308 at 5 ft. The ‘step step step” stuff is funny… hes not explaining it properly. Your getting out of the line of fire by stepping out of the point of impact relative to your attackers firearm. Your essentially entering their OODA loop in doing so.

    1. Cameron Avatar

      I never got that Africa thing…if he’s going to visit some places, or take pictures and stuff, wouldn’t carrying a subcompact Glock be preferable, to keep yourself defended without looking like you’re picking a fight?

      And if you’re going on a hunt or a safari, wouldn’t you carry a 10mm Glock or a large bore revolver to stop animals that sneak up on you, instead of his precious 9mm?

  20. I dont his logic at the end. “Find a service pistol YOU like, and then buy multiple, buy one for everyone in your house…. you wont regret doing that” I’ve found that not everyone likes the same gun. I like my XD9SA. I’ve put thousands of rounds through it without a problem. That gun isnt for everyone. Buddy of mine likes 1911s. Dont blame him, it was a Kimber, but I’m not a huge fan. Everyone is different. Another buddy shoots an HK USP in 9mm. thats what he likes. I like all three of these and would prefer them over a Glock any day. Unless of course you gave me a Glock as a gift, in which case I say thank you!

  21. Lynn Thompson is the George Lucas of the weapons world.

    In his early years, he really put out some great stuff, but fast forward a few decades and it is just awful to watch. I had been getting the “proof” videos for a couple of years, and they went from watching his L.E./Military knives get torture tested into watching him attack cow skulls with warhammers while wearing a suit.

    I think he went crazy when Camillus went out of business and his “made in the USA” stamp became “made in china”

  22. Years and years ago I was in Orlando and had dinner with Lynn, in the parking lot afterwards he pulled out a NAA 22 short and proceed to teach me the shoot, step, shoot method. ( he was a lot smaller then, as was I,
    Pic at the bottom of the post) It worked real well with that small of a gun, I was just freaked out that he was doing it in a parking lot (at that time, the carry laws in FL were still draconian), he had flown into town with it from CA and he just did not care. At that time in history ( pre fast internet and cheap vid production) he was treated as royalty at the gun shows and such. One thing I love about the “cut and shoot industry is that we have our share of “characters “. Has he gone overboard, yes. The “water buffalo” video from SHOT show a few years back had everyone one talking in the building about it , but everyone was talking, is any publicity ( even if its batshit) good publicity?

    1. Holy shit, I can see this raising some emotions:

      I need time to process this before I pass judgement, but I suspect my conclusion will not be favorable.

      1. Now think of that video on a loop, on a huge screen playing over and over from 8 am till 5:30 pm,,,,, for four days. i went by the booth many times just to see the horrified looks on the booth babes that happened to walk by. i do not remember if they made them shut it down or not, I do remember there were a lot of people disgusted by it. I think he did give the meat to the abos though, that was the justification for mowing them down like he was playing duck hunt

      2. What A POS
        This guy gives hunters a bad name

        the reason we have gun laws and hunting restrictions is because of A holes like this that have no self control, and am not just talking about his eating habits

        1. You really should read the article about him, it explains why he was shooting so many freakin’ animals (and a lot of other things). That’s not to say that you’ll suddenly love him, but give the guy a fair shake.

  23. One more link of interest, since Lynn is such a controversial guy:

  24. JKEverett Avatar


    “.40 caliber Smith & Wesson Glock.”

    Must be something new…

    1. Or it’s just a Glock that’s chambered for the .40 S&W cartridge.

  25. Lynn Thompson it should be remembered is the president of Cold Steel, a company which produces knives and swords, which he tries to market by over the top marketing plans. Really I think of Lynn as the swordsman in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and Indy had the answer for it, never bring a knife to a gun fight!
    Lynn over the years has come to believe his own hype. The man is a shameless self-promoter of the first order. I think he has become the ultimate mall ninja.
    Some of his comments leave me wondering what was he thinking. He talks about travel in Africa with his trusty Glock 17 and 33 round magazines, wow… I have been through a few parts of Africa, most nations there are very strict on firearms in general and handguns in particular. I Lynn saying he spends considerable time in Somalia?
    His spray and pray method of “ripping” a house leaves most of us saying “Oh no he didn’t”. Could it be that Lynn has yet again decided to reinvent himself as a firearms expert?”
    His comment of 500 rounds of 9mm ammo, well I would think if you think you are going to need anywhere that number of rounds you don’t need a pistol, you need a helicopter gunship. Maybe he is good friends with Mike Dillon who happens to have such a rig.
    Oh well, I used to read Soldier of Fortune magazine and SWAT before they turned into Military and Police journals too. I know Lynn Thompson was familar with Phil Engledrum’s Pistolero magazine, because Lynn got caught up in the Great Bacon making incident.

  26. Funny. I love when he is showing off all his guns. All that dicipline…….yet still not enough self-dicipline to lose enough weight to be able look straight down and see his own dick again. Just another fat poser.

  27. I’ve got a couple of his knives (and everyone else’s – too much good stuff out there) and he makes a quality product. I’d recommend his blades based on my experiences with them.
    I don’t however think I’ll be taking any gun advice from him.

  28. This was little more than an excuse, and a poor excuse at that for him to show off what he and likely only he would consider as “talent”. Then he said he prefers Glock a $400-$500 pistol of the craftsmanship and sheer precision of a $1000+ Pistol like HK, wow…. I like Glock a lot too, but dammit if I was offered a Glock or an HK, fuck GLOCK haha!

  29. Knew two guys that had glocks in Iraq, both of the guys each had their glocks jam on them during serious moments. Every other person with
    common sense, used HK, or Sig, of all the sand, temperatures, dirt, water, snow, you name it, I have never heard of a single HK or Sig ever
    jamming, EVER, even when standard maintenance and cleaning procedures are ignored, still never heard of it. People, there IS A REASON,
    that Army TRADOC, decided to go along and contract out with HK. There IS a reason, it’s because you can take them to hell and back.