Samurai Sword Ninja Umbrella Causes Mall Gun Scare

Hide yo’ kids hide yo’ wife, we live in an age of Gunbrella scares:

Burlington, MA – Police responded in force today to a report of a man with a rifle at a mall, evacuating shoppers and calling in a SWAT team as worried workers locked themselves into stores. But it turned out that the man was only carrying an umbrella.

Police said the umbrella, which had a samurai sword-style handle, did look like a rifle, and they didn’t fault those at the Burlington Mall who had reported the man.

Full Story – HERE

The previous umbrella assault rifle story – HERE

A couple things on my mind:

When is Obama going to start an ATU task force? (Alcohol Tobacco Umbrellas) to put a stop to this madness.

Does the umbrella take high capacity assault clips?

We really need to patch up this umbrella loophole before someone gets hurt.

Hat tip: John J


12 responses to “Samurai Sword Ninja Umbrella Causes Mall Gun Scare”

  1. Tendrax Avatar

    “Police said the umbrella, which had a samurai sword-style handle, did look like a rifle.” the people in my area are all on crack. I swear.

    It was this umbrella

    Random civilians? Fine. However I expect police to know enough about firearms to recognize that it looks NOTHING like a rifle.

    The local news reports almost had me screaming at the TV while I was work.

    1. oh my God.. that so totally looks like a rifle stock.. :D hahaha..

  2. Listened to this live over the MA State Police feed… What a riot! Kept me entertained all morning. The sheep in this state can’t find their own ass with both hands without government assistance much less identify a firearm.

    This blog was actually linked in one of the early comments on’s story btw.

  3. It’s sad that so many folks were slow clueless that they identified that umbrella as a rifle.

  4. Carrying to the terror of the public… Its for the children!

  5. Keep our children safe. Keep Assault Umbrellas out of our schools and off our streets!

  6. CR Pyro Avatar

    Shouldn’t that be ATFU since, after all, their attitude is as such?

  7. MAC21500 Avatar

    I live in MA. as well Tendrax, right in the middle of the Communist Commune of Amherst of all places… I could only imagine what would happen had I that umbrella…

    Question is, how long until someone makes an umbrella with a rifle stock handle; seeing as there already is one with a “pistol grip”… Hell, maybe someone will make an “Umbrella upper” for your AR-15!

  8. armed_partisan Avatar

    A society full of cowards afraid of their own shadows is nothing to make light of, gentlemen. This is a disturbing trend, where people are such god-damned pussies that they call the cops because you’re carrying a stick, and then the police applaud them for being cautious, when it’s absolutely nothing of the sort. Carrying a gun is being cautious, calling the cops because you see a man with an umbrella is paranoia. I would make some snarky comment about cowardly Yankess, but since this also already happened in Virginia as well, I’ll say this instead: Beware the Mall Culture. They hate you and fear you and want to see you destroyed, ye sons of Liberty. They will call out their mercenaries whenever they think you’re around in the hopes that they will cut you down. These two incidents have nothing to do with personal safety, and everything to do with personal hatreds.

  9. That one guy Avatar
    That one guy

    Reminds me of dale gribble when he was trying on the trench coat and hat. SHI-SHAAWW.

    For all we know the man was just recreating his favorite part of a show :3