Marshall Security Services And Training Academy – LA DERP

Quick, someone save these vids for posterity:

Our mission is to become the premier security services firm in the United States by providing dedicated, professional security personnel and quality services to our clients.

A lofty goal.  Prepare to be dazzled by expert video after effects, stellar operational reloads mainly for dealing with hand injuries, and overdone useless “I didn’t see but I pretended to look” type threat assessments after every task.

0:31 – Special tenifer coated high speed low drag cookie sheets you wouldn’t know anything about.

0:42 – Aiming is for losers

0:53 – Injured your one hand?  Style points for opting to do a heel reload.  Not sure why you couldn’t just hit the slide release in a case like this when the gun is in slide lock… obviously it’s not as cool.

1:10 – Awwwwwwww shit the one handed reload.  We’ve seen this maneuver before!

1:17 – Weak hand upside down gun with pinky running the trigger.  If that wasn’t enough, peep the crotch reload.

1:28 – “Oh hold up… let me fix your upside down derp pinky trigger grip. There we go bRah… that’s much better.”

1:34 – Wow they are really trying to sell the idea of this one hand upside down pinky defense.

1:38 – If the standing heel reload earlier in the video wasn’t enough, if you train with them they will also throw in the kneeling heel reload at no extra cost.

1:48 – “Bitches don’t know ’bout my pivot / cookie sheet engagement”

1:57 – Knee tuck reload.  Sure, looks legit.

2:16 – Belt buckle reload.  Yea this is also a thing I’m not mad at, but couldn’t it be done on the side or back of the belt?

2:27 – BOOM hit you with mad credentials. Recognize.

A 2nd video on tactical defense shooting, with some additional lulz:

1:36 – Engage rapidly.  Throwing lead at 1000+ ft/sec in the general direction of something is obviously good enough.  Again, aiming is for low speed high drag losers.  As long as you make some noise and fake threat asses after, your good to go.

1:48 – Hot potato handgun… you know the drill.

2:00+ – hahah at the cut in LA bank robbery movie footage.

DerpIf you think you can handle this type of training, please don’t hesitate to contact Marshall Security Service & Training Academy.


Hat tip: NAZ, Owen, Caleb


63 responses to “Marshall Security Services And Training Academy – LA DERP”

  1. HA HA HA they’re not even wearing the new LE Black Multicam. Loosers !

    Aside from the knee tuck reload, this video looks like they let Jim Carrey play with a gun and a camera:
    “Jim, here’s a Glock 7 or whatever that is, give us your best Jackie Chan impression!”

  2. Therealcombatwombat Avatar

    So basically if you train with them they’ll teach you 101 ways to reload a glock brand glock….most of which involve you muzzling the bejesus out of yourself and don’t appear to have any real life efficacy. O well I guess the techniques were neat if nothing else.

  3. There is in no way this is serious, and if it is…..kill me now

  4. I remember seeing polenar tactical do a video where a dude tried to shoot his sig brand sig upside down and ripped his hand open, I really wish I could see the fails aka in the making of this

    1. i think it was them, but fuck you

    2. Yeah Polenar is fucking cool though, because Poland. Or some eastern Europe semi-failed state. I like those guys.

      1. dave56678 Avatar

        Slovenia I believe.

  5. I could not believe this was real when I first viewed the video. Yup, they have school and everything. How many times do they flag themselves and each other? Let’s make a game out of it and count. I imagine their classes consists of magazine dumping into a berm and videotaping each other. That second video is HILARIOUS!

  6. Can anyone please explain to me since I’m not from the US how the f*** these guys are making their business? possible possible How it’s possible that anyone would take them serious based on these videos? I guess todays Call of Duty/Battlefield generation is retarded enough to buy this

    1. Drapetomanius Avatar

      YouTube videos do not equal successful business. I’m seeing the same six guys over and over again; not a line of customers.

      Because shooting is popular in the US and the economy stinks, every joker with a camera and minimal training with firearms sees other gun schools releasing videos and thinks “hey I need money, and I can shoot better than most people at the public range…”

      Just because someone made a video, doesn’t mean they have a functional business.

      1. I thought so, they are just trying to look like real deal :) Tnx!

      2. Ryan In The Rockies Avatar
        Ryan In The Rockies

        I am 99.999999% sure you just described the birth of Vigilant Spectre “Operations”

        1. More like – The abortion of wannabe’s.

  7. I was waiting for a one-handed reload using the teeth. Disappointed.

  8. If you took all the boot slap parts and put it to riverdance music it would rule.

  9. I love how all these operator school wanna-bees all COPY that Art of the Dynamic handgun video with the SEARCH AND DESTROY look when they are done firing off their rounds. Its so stupid, yet they all copy each other with that look. There was that other ridiculous training school that they did a full ballerina turnaround after… and they were serious.

    1. Squirreltactical Avatar

      What ever happened to “Your muzzle goes where your eyes go.”?

    2. I think the original idea was that it would ingrain into you that you should break tunnel vision. Not really a bad idea, as long as you know why you’re doing it. Now it’s just become tacticool kata.

  10. They just needed better choreography. This could be an Olympic event.

    1. Its like synchronized swimming with glock brand glocks.

      1. lol It’s synchronized glock brand glocking. These dudes would take the prize. Then again there some other pretty derpy schools out there that might win too.

        1. Did somebody say Glock brand Glock?

          Yet another amazing operator video that I wish I made first.

  11. I don’t always use cardboard boxes for targets, but when i do i only use ones from Home Depot. Stay tacticool my friends.

    —the world’s most operational man.

    1. triggernoob Avatar

      Especially since these are promotional video, they could have at least used actual silouettes or steel targets. Derpity-do!

  12. Heh… only in Los Angeles can you expect showmanship without substance. Sure, you can shoot a pistol upside down… but this isn’t Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4. Tacticool Timmy is going to suffer a gnarly gash, or SIGW trying to rack his slide with his butt cheeks. Seriously though… looking cool is not worth losing the fight over because you had to be a show off and use your firearm in a manner that offers no real tactical advantage. Just saying.

  13. littlehummer8812 Avatar

    These operators operating glocks don’t stop there. They ninja the shit out of shotguns and rifles too.

    1. I grew a sick beard after watching that and just thinking about all of the tactical operations that they must surely tactically operate in. With bolt action rifles, no less.

    2. Squirreltactical Avatar

      Fuck! I should never have sold my M1A. I never knew that firing it sideways while running was that amazingly accurate I’ve been operating wrong my entire life…

    3. elephantrider Avatar

      Scoped .22s and bolt action rifles as well. Good Lord these guys are retarded. I loved the guy just winging shotgun rounds downrange without aiming, while towards the targets. You can see rounds impacting all over the place on the berm in the background when the guy with the M1A does his ‘cool guy’ slide while firing.

  14. My god. Its VIPERs academies slightly less retarded cousin. They should do this on a baseball diamond. Slide into second base and shoot at a dummy wearing catchers gear.

    1. Bill for new keyboard inbound.

      I just operationally spewed Scotch out of my nose.

  15. James Earl Jones Avatar
    James Earl Jones

    They need all of those one handed reloads so they can continue to masturbate furiously to the fact they’re finally operators operating in real life operations.

    1. James Earl Jones Avatar
      James Earl Jones

      Their videos remind me of a bizzaro world version of Dynamic Pie Concepts’ videos, where the comedy is replaced with seriousness and the awesome is replaced with a heaping double portion of derp.

  16. triggernoob Avatar

    Shouldn’t the link be “MALL SecuritySerive & Training Academy?”

    They just throwning lead down range. Much like the NYPD cops…Maybe they will hit something…Maybe they won’t.

    1. triggernoob Avatar

      Shouldn’t the link be “MALL Security Service & Training Academy?”

      They’re just throwning lead down range. Much like the NYPD cops…Maybe they will hit something…Maybe they won’t.

    2. CrunkleRoss Avatar

      They hit the berm and some objects around it which is all that’s required to be awesome. If only the NYPD could sent their officers to be trained by these guys.

  17. Marshall Training–for when hitting the target is a distant tertiary goal and hip-firing long guns while moving is SOP.

  18. One thing I’ve noticed, for all the years I’ve read this blog. The derps such as this come either from the shit cities in Cali, or foreign countries. All because, apparently the 4 rules don’t apply, and their fucking idiots.

    1. dave56678 Avatar

      I’m an instructor in LA. I work at a gun store and gun range I don’t have the facilities to do all that move and shoot shit but there are good classes available in the LA area at least. (ITTS with Scott Reitz is well regarded for example) This video seems to be on par with the things I’ve seen from American Defense Enterprise (ADE) which is absolutely hilarious to watch if you’re bored on YouTube.

      1. ADE teaches in my hood and I have spent some of my hard earned money with them many years ago. At that time they offered a money back guarantee on their training, so I figured it was a safe bet. During my interaction with ADE I was never exposed to any exercises where I would be downrange during live fire, or any intentional way being endangered or exposed to the possibility of getting shot. The instructors were safety conscious, hands on and had no tolerance for “stupid”. They required everyone to be safe, able to hit their target accurate and fast. I have strong personal opinions and reasons why I’m not willing to spend money to train with ADE anymore, however I don’t believe that they can be compared to the people in this video on any level.

          1. Sledgecrowbar Avatar

            Derp confirmed. Is this definitely ADE, then?

          2. I agree with you. Their videos make me cringe, and like I said, I refuse to give them my money. The only good thing about making these “high speed, low drag” videos that they make great evidence in the court of law when someone “accidentally” does get shot.

  19. Pop N Fresh Avatar
    Pop N Fresh

    pour a bourbon cause it’s their 35min montage!

    1. Fuck man thats too much operationally dynamic operating for me! Cant handle it.

    2. Sledgecrowbar Avatar

      I can’t handle speed that high, deftly combined with drag that low. It’s all too much for me.

    3. Squirreltactical Avatar

      I’m about 90% sure I saw a slide in there where a guy was bending over and shooting between his legs. What. The ever-loving. Fuck.

  20. Sledgecrowbar Avatar

    We should market heel sole grip tape For Faster Reloads. It would confuse the shit out of operators to read the label.

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      LOL nice. Yea heel reloads are definitely “in” right now.

  21. SittingDown Avatar

    Where to begin? LOL

  22. DinoRidingArab Avatar

    Sonny Puzikas would be proud

  23. DinoRidingArab Avatar



    1. Sledgecrowbar Avatar

      Comment of the day, please.

  24. THE VigilantSpectre Avatar
    THE VigilantSpectre

    Dude, you forgot 0:45 tactical flubber retention.

    Another case in point the only thing good that comes from the God forsaken land of California is Porn.

    1. elephantrider Avatar

      ^^^ Thanks for the ignorant statement of the day ^^^

  25. I didnt even have to watch the video to know these guys are a joke…….the first thing i see is a guy wearing the flag patch on his shoulder FLYING THE WRONG WAY……but now after reading all the comments….i have to watch them….i’m sure i will be disipointed…And entertained

    1. Sledgecrowbar Avatar

      In peacetime the flag is worn in it’s normal configuration, in wartime the right shoulder flag is worn “backwards” to signify that it is facing into the wind, meaning that the soldier is advancing, not retreating. That’s why the uniforms and patches are velcro.

      It is totally worth watching, though.

      1. elephantrider Avatar

        “In peacetime the flag is worn in it’s normal configuration, in wartime the right shoulder flag is worn “backwards” to signify that it is facing into the wind, meaning that the soldier is advancing, not retreating. That’s why the uniforms and patches are velcro.”

        Incorrect. The US flag patch on the right shoulder is ALWAYS worn with the canton forward as if the flag were advancing forward. That is NOT the reason why military uniforms use Velcro for patches.

  26. I would rather just buy a pistol that has a functioning slide stop/release. I guess they teach that muzzle sweeping your buddy and your own crotch is just dandy as long as it looks cool. Why do they look around every time they run out of ammo?

  27. One of the biggest problems I see in these and other “tactical/operator” courses is that they never seem to tech people when not to fire. (At least not that I’ve seen). They focus on shoot fast, reload fast, then shoot fast again. The same fault exists in traditional single-target-on-a-range type “qualifications.” I think that could lead to some serious fudge ups. Maybe that’s why there have been so many shootings involving police sending a hail of bullets downrange with absolutely no target discrimination.

    1. THE VigilantSpectre Avatar
      THE VigilantSpectre

      Not to change the subject from these giggly dorks, but when I was at Asymmetric Solutions. One of the things they have been doing lately is teaching LEOs to ID a CCW. To this point most LEO training is GUN=HOSTILE=FIRE. They are trying to change that to the more realistic scenario that they are seeing with the increase in ccw in the recent years. Thought it was cool

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