Man Carrying Assault Umbrella Triggers VA Mall Manhunt

ROANOKE, Va. — Both 911 calls reporting a man with a rifle at Valley View Mall in Roanoke were from security officers at the retail complex — one relaying a secondhand report, the other watching a 40-minute-old surveillance video, according to emergency call recordings. The first call, from a mall guard at 5:05 p.m. Monday, reported that another mall worker had seen a man with “a big assault rifle.”

The second call, at 5:37 p.m., was from a Macy’s loss prevention detective, who breathlessly told a police dispatcher, “It definitely was an assault rifle.” The calls sent dozens of city and state police swarming the mall and prompted an evacuation and a failed 10-hour search of the region’s largest shopping complex.

The man who was subject of the hunt came forward Tuesday and showed a city detective the black umbrella he had been carrying against Monday’s predicted rain.

Full Story – HERE

Wow people are so scared for their lives they are even calling the cops on umbrellas.

I need to be careful not to wear black jeans to the mall, someone might think I have to assault rifles for legs like in that Tarantino movie Grindhouse.

Hat tip: Billy V.


16 responses to “Man Carrying Assault Umbrella Triggers VA Mall Manhunt”

  1. MAC21500 Avatar

    Dont forget House and his Tactical shotgun canesword!

    1. Admin (Mike) Avatar
      Admin (Mike)

      hahaha that’s great. I bookmarked it to blog about.. thanks MAC.

    2. It was a dream zombie at the mall that called it in. Obviously the police were responding to a dream zombie outbreak.

  2. “They enhanced the video”
    Wait… Like in CSI?

  3. That one guy Avatar
    That one guy

    I bet someone called that assault umbrella in just so they could go home early lol

  4. Henry Bowman Avatar
    Henry Bowman

    Still waiting to hear that the idiot who reported an umbrella as “definitely an assault rifle” has been fired for felony idiocy. Not holding my breath, though.

    Or maybe Josh Sugarmann has a day job at Macy’s?

  5. Either him or Sarah Brady.
    Umbrella, piano, cowboy hat, duh, they all look like “assault weapons” duh.
    Was the guy in surveillance office bored and sitting there and smoking weed?
    I wonder how much business the mall lost because of this?

  6. Antibubba Avatar

    Did the guy say “umbrella” or did he say “bumbershoot”? Because that could make all the difference!

    Another page in the annals of the Mall Ninja.

  7. All I can say is thank GOD that umbrella didn’t pop open. It didn’t look like there was a safety on it!!

  8. WOW people are silly

  9. how much money did the mall lose? this is why i dont open carry my umbrella

  10. Huey148 Avatar

    looks like we finally know what mall Gecko45 works at….

  11. It was probably because of all the negative press about that evil “Umbrella Corporation”.

  12. […] The previous umbrella assault rifle story – HERE […]

  13. […] been some talk on here lately (Here and Here) of “Gunbrella’s”, where people have mistaken regular (or […]

  14. […] been some talk on here lately (Here and Here) of “Gunbrella’s”, where people have mistaken regular (or samurai handled) […]