Complete with double bottle opener:

Sheepdogs will look you dead in the eyes and tell you how they protect the sheep from the wolves.. then use this contraption in their lifted Jeeps while going forty mph over the speed limit down the interstate, drinking a white monster and steering with their knee as they eat a triple Whopper, Bodies hit the floor booming distorted through the speakers trying so hard to get that one way ticket to visit their idol Chris Kyle.

Gat tip: @mcbolsky