Champagne Gun Helps You Secure Your Spot As Alpha Douchebag

This is good.  Nightclub bros rejoice:

Champagne-Gunhaha man… we all know (or knew) those types of guys.  If wasting several hundred dollars on a bottle then spraying it in the air is what you want to do with the money you worked for, be my guest.  It’s a great litmus test for so many character traits I feel are important.

It’s always the tommy gun silhouette that non-companies go for, when coming out with a novelty gun related product.  I’m not mad at it, because that gun is timeless and amazing, but the choice is so predictable.

The champagne gun goes for $460 on a party supplies website.  Just make sure you’re not packing an evil high capacity black bottle.

Oh and according to the users manual which I took a peek at, it’s crucial you leave at least 3 buttons of your shirt unbuttoned to flash at least a portion of your tribal chest tattoo.  This bro is within regs: