A DHS-funded video gives tips to survive a shooter:

As far as I’m concerned it’s all valid advice, BUT… they never even mention firearms as a valid means of defense.  Seems like meeting an aggressor that has a gun WITH a gun would be the most valid option.  Oh wait… you’re supposed to wait for the tactical response team with guns to plan and enter 30 minutes later right? *eye roll*

Just use a piece of shit lunchroom chair or a fire extinguisher to incapacitate the guy LOL.  Yea, because that’s worked so often in the history of active shooters.

Keith points out the reason for this stupidity at the 1:00 mark.  This video was filmed in Houston, TX and like many locations scattered throughout the country they like to disarm people for no particular reason:

I think i’m going to register in a Tactical Fire Extinguisher course, or maybe get my Open Chair Carry Permit.  You know… just in case.


Hat tip: Keith


34 responses to “RUN – HIDE – DERP”

  1. RockRavn Avatar

    Mike, I was skyping my girlfriend and busted out laughing at your Open Chair Carry Permit comment. Hahaha

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      haha awesome

  2. Dan The Viking Avatar
    Dan The Viking

    Naw, man. It’s all about the tactical plastic fern.

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      Haha now you got me watching old episodes of “behind two ferns”

  3. This video could be improved by starring VS as the responding Tac Team. I mean, as long as your going with government funded Derp, why not double down and Derp to the max?

    1. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      Haha that would have been epic.

    2. ENDO-Mike Avatar

      I’ll have to use that “double down on derp” line someday too. :-P

  4. Keith just killed my post for tomorrow morning… Damn him to hell! :) LOL

  5. MrMaigo Avatar

    At the 2011 Tucson shooting, they did hit the guy with a chair before tackling him

  6. Croppedxout Avatar

    Rule 1: Don’t let anyone slow you down. If Johnson from cubicle 238 is in a wheelchair, fuck him. He can’t walk so let him die.
    Rule 2: Hide under your desk. Bad guys never think someone might immediately go underneath their Ikea desk. Plus everyone knows cubicle walls stop bullets. Same rule applies to home invasions and hiding under your bed.
    Rule 3: Leave your belongings. Cell phones are NOT an important form of communication. Your family and friends don’t need to know you are safe when this story breaks all over the country and the police have you detained for 3 days questioning you. Everyone likes a good surprise.
    Rule 4: After escaping, DO NOT run far away. It is vitally important you run to your nearest big green electical thingy. Also, bring your friends, and ensure they know the importance of staying by the big green electical thingy. It is common knowledge that attackers can’t be exposed to sunlight or large green machines.
    Rule 5: Do NOT hide in bathroom stalls. The SWAT team always searches them first. If you are in a bathroom stall you will be considered hostile and therefore nuetralized. Nothing says “suspect” like being curled up in a ball in the bowl of a public toilet crying.
    Rule 6: Guys with shotguns are no match for paper cuts. Use the form 6’S you have been working so hard on and get to slicing!
    Rule 7: Be patient, help is on the way. After 14 hours of the Police setting up their Mobile Command trailer, talking about what is going on inside, devising a plan, taking a nap, eating a snack, story time, and then finally their pre mission massage. They will send in 4 officers to clear a building with no sense of urgency whatsoever.

  7. I don’t think this was too derpy. Yeah, a gun would be a better way to deal with the shooter if you choose “fight” (or have to choose to fight). But most companies have a no guns at work policy. I do a lot of contract repair jobs at state facilities and can’t carry a gun. Nor can I have a gun in the company van. It’s a precious few people who get to carry at work (despite the whole pesky “constitution”).

    That said, I completely agree with Andrew Tuohy of Vuurwaapen Blog in his “I am not a sheepdog” video. If some shit goes down while I’m carrying, I’m still going to get the flock out of there–not square off with a crazy and possibly armored foe. If my EDC was an SBR AR15 full of green tip, I’d think about it. But it’s not. It’s either an M&P9c or SP101. Neither of which will punch even old 1980s flak jackets that you can buy for $50 ( I would know. I have two and have shot one with various things). I am also not a sheepdog.

    1. Hell yes a gun would be better, because even if the police are literally around the corner, they’ll probably tell you to call 911…

      “A downtown worker who flagged down a Portland police car to report a robbery in progress said he was surprised by the officer’s response Thursday.

      ‘He told me he was off duty and I should call 911,” said Rob Anderson, 31. “He rolled up his window and drove away.’ Anderson said the officer was in uniform, driving a marked patrol car about a block from the robbery.”

  8. agentorange197 Avatar

    I am glad to see Vin Diesel is still getting work.

    1. LMFAO!!!!


  10. … section 30.06

  11. BrowningBottoms Avatar

    I thought this was the new ICE/Border Patrol motto? Run. Hide…Oh wait, they don’t get to “fight.” Unless you consider bean bags a viable alternative to rifle rounds. Not exactly meeting force with force!

    If throwing a chair is the DHS’ idea of fighting back, then things really have gone sub-zero. Must’ve run out of headline writer cash after shooting this stupid video.

  12. dave w Avatar

    take the bitch a 3:52, push her into the hallway. Lock door.
    thats what i took away from this video.

  13. The other thing I would do is pull the fire alarm.

    But most of the companies I know of don’t let you carry.

    1. My wife is a teacher, and by law, I must disarm myself before going into her school. Do I like that? No. Do I refuse to go to her school because of this law? Nope. Life is nothing but a series of tradeoffs, despite what VS says…

      Okay, that was gratuitous. And I don’t care. :D

      *IF* you are in a “gun-free” zone (psst, you’ll notice how said sign slowed him down and caused him to turn back from his murderous rampage? Yeah, me neither. Nice to see DHS admit that fact….), then what they’re telling you to do isn’t all that bad, actually: You find a place of greater safety and then decide from there if your actions are going to be fight or flight. This is essentially what Mike Janich recommended on an old episode of Best Defense, and you’ll have to work mighty hard to play the derp card on his ideas.

      Yeah, carrying a pistol gives you more options to fight back. But you always have options, even without a sidearm.

  14. Additional note: if you have no choice but to hide and wait it out with you colleagues in order to form you own attack, be prepared. If the whiny-ass cry baby woman from your office keeps screaming for no reason you might have to hit her with the fire extinguisher FIRST so she’ll shut the fuck up…then you can go to town on the shooter.

  15. I’m really glad they mentioned that the first responders are not there to help you. Ignorant people don’t get that. Also it’s not a bad video… Pulling the fire alarm should be in there somewhere though.

  16. Sadly we have to consider this as happening to ourselves or loved ones. So lets say for conversation that the comment in general are somewhat vald. But, add to the the fire alarm pull, take,mobile and also the big one, remember police are people and get scared too so be observant that those coming in are trigger-happy too!

    My concern nowadays is for the over vellous law enforcement, remember I come from the UK. You should see the drones and fully armed SWAT teams we have on the ground here H&K must be sold out!

  17. Secesh Avatar

    All (well, some) of these comments seem valid and pretty much cover my thoughts on the subject. But, I do have a question. What does DERP mean?

  18. Cuban Pete Avatar
    Cuban Pete

    We need to enact common-sense regulations on the use of cheap-ass breakroom plastic chairs. Will someone please think of the children!!!

  19. The duration of the video is 5″56. That IS cool. On purpose?

  20. This is valid advice IF you don’t have a firearm.
    At least they don’t say “try to disarm the shooter” or “talk to him about the evil he is”…
    They clearly say “no matter what”.

  21. Curtis Avatar

    If this is geared toward DHS employees, in government buildings, they would be barred from carrying at work.

  22. Considering I am from Houston, I hate those damn 30.06 signs!!! As soon as I saw that sign I thought wait this was in Texas?!

  23. xpo172 Avatar

    I thought it was crazy that they showed them running UP stairs. That will confuse the sheeps.

  24. At least there is no ‘give him what he wants’ or ‘vomit’ advice.

  25. 30 minutes is very optimistic! Any one else notice that patrol cops have SOPMOD stocks and other accessories on their rifles?

    Secondary solution (if weapon not in desk) run out to car, get gun, get it into the fight.

    **Know that help is on the way** BUT the tactical team is going to walk around the bodies while they look for the shooter.

  26. Anomanom Avatar

    Throw your soda pop at the shooter, then beat him up when his AR jams.